'Wherever You Will Go' by The Calling
In a sea of musical mementos, this one-hit wonder hits the hardest
The number of one-hit wonders that moved me could fill a library. But the Calling’s “Wherever You Will Go” holds a special place in my heart — as a mother and a wife, and sometime friend.
I don’t remember how I found myself falling apart as guitar strings skipped and skimmed over deep-throated Rickroll narrative-vocals. But I do remember immediately thinking of my loved ones, especially my only son when he was still toddling around, discovering the world.
The soft-rock-pop ballad — the Calling’s debut from its Camino Palmero album — came out in 2001, but I didn’t really hear it until two or three years later. I sensed the song was about more than another hot chick break-up trope, as the official music video showed.
A quick look at Wikipedia, and I guess I was right:
Songwriter Aaron Kamin talked about the song in a radio interview. He said: “At the time my grandmother's best friend had passed away and she left behind a husband of 50 or more years and I was at the funeral and afterwards I just started thinking of what it would be like to be him and have your whole life change so dramatically and not for the best in a matter of moments. Somebody that you live and grow with and are one with, just to be gone, is crazy and I figured all he ever thinks about probably is finding a way to get back to her or be with her or make sure she's alright or something like that. That was the sentiment behind that.”
While Kamin thought about his grandmother’s best friend’s husband, I thought of my son James first and his father/my husband Ed second. I, too, imagined what it would be like once I’m gone for good and how I could stay, somehow, even in their dreams and memories, or another life for another round.
The song is another example of melancholy lyrics and music melding and molding together to evoke deep feelings of love, loss, and unvanquished, poetic hope, where emanant ballad and soft rock so perfectly fit within the titular scales of each other…not one note or word out of place.
It’s, to me, the ultimate love song that applies to anyone in any circumstance, whether you’re singing about your significant other on your wedding day or your son as he leaves to make his way in the world. Those are the best.
“Wherever You Will Go” has played in the screen of my mind whenever my son has fallen down and hurt himself, walled himself off from us after a particularly disappointing interaction or backstabbing betrayal — when every friend has turn his back…injuring out of his first freshman season of JV soccer…rejected by a girl he had a crush on for the longest time, days before prom…or even triumphant moments when he scored the game-winning victory — after being bed-ridden by a vaccine injury back to back.
Every time I hear it, as I do with Sara Bareilles’ “She Used to Be Mine,” my entire body yearns to reach out, weep, and never stop. I wish with all my might that my son and my husband and anyone else I love could feel the gentle power of this tender song…the power of my love…and love it too.
When I’m long gone, I do not need yearly flowers on my grave or long soliloquies to make Shakespeare jealous.
Just play a song that reminds you that I was here and I loved you, deeply.
“So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place?
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall
And fall upon us all
Then between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own?
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
And maybe I'll find out
A way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave shall fall
And fall upon us all
Then, I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you…
…I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go
I'll go wherever you will go…”
— “Wherever You Will Go,” The Calling