“So you think that you have found
A better life that you should live
And you’re through givin’ it all away
I wish there’s something I could say
Like the time you looked into the mirror
And saw someone else lookin’ back
I wish I could find the words
But there’s nothin’ that even comes close…
Slip away, slip away, slip away…”
— Brian Setzer, “The Knife Feels Like Justice”
but you said you never eat meat
you’d never move
you’d never leave
we’re family, you want me,
let’s run away
we gave the best of ourselves away
because we could not bear the divorce, and the loneliness that comes with abandonment issues, then there’s the not-so-small matter of health insurance
I thought of all those man-made currencies, one foot in a one-bedroom Makiki apartment, no air conditioner, not anymore, one foot out the door, maybe a new start somewhere in Kalihi, rooming with a friend
I thought of Raynette, the dream a week ago, when someone told me she comes to these meetings just to have something to do, and the emptiness that must’ve felt, to go rather than sink and wait and die, just die, it’ll be over in one excruciating minute, feeling the blood leave these withering veins, maybe a flash of a random memory of the morning we all went to McDonald’s across Kalakaua Ave., and you had saimin
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to carolbanksweber to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.