Chapter 4: Shitty Friend
I love you, but...
You never knew me at all.
You put words in my mouth.
You imagined the worst when I was trying my best.
You never gave me a chance to defend myself.
You said horrible things to my child behind my back.
You never gave him a chance to explain himself.
You made him feel like a criminal when I sent him over to make it right.
You attacked a defenseless child.
You believed the worst about him when you knew that it happened before with another mom.
You used the one thing you knew would crush me.
You never gave me a chance. You never gave me a chance. Why did you never give me a chance?
You betrayed us.
You left us to fend for ourselves.
You never made it right.
You made us feel ashamed.
You made us feel defenseless and dirty and…utterly alone.
You made me feel like a bad mom.
You made me question myself and my own child.
You threatened that trust between us.
You broke something precious in my child.
You never let me protect him.
You made a lot of terrible assumptions, based on the actions of others.
You blindsided me.
You never told me the truth when it counted.
You stabbed me in the back when you swore you were different.
You used the very things that I hold precious and dear as weapons.
You left me twisting in the wind, when we could’ve put our heads together and figured it out.
You lashed out when I did nothing wrong.
You did what I would never do — to you or your children.
You never let me in.
You pretended to be my friend.
You made “friend” forever a dirty word.
You made me believe in second chances.
You made a fool of me.
You moved on to bigger and better, with your real friends, like I was just some pity project.
You destroyed me, so utterly and completely that I can never allow myself to be a friend to anyone else ever fucking again.
You made sure of that.
You’ve suffered enough, and I love you, but…I will never forget.